By Elliott West
It started with jealousy, checking my phone and emails”.
Rebecca
Introduction
The loss of temper, the raised voice, the punch and then silence. The scene strewn with the impact of the violent act and the victim left bloodied and bruised. A perpetrator who either pleads for forgiveness or who erases the act of domestic violence from their memory. This despicable crime has no boundaries, affecting the young and the old, men, women, every ethnicity and sexual orientation.An act that often comes from the very one that is supposed to love you. This is abuse of the highest order and is often inflicted for years with the victim too frightened to speak out against their abuser. Covering their cuts, bruises and broken bones with additional clothing or heavy makeup. This fear causes the victims to blame themselves and to shield their abusers by making up an excuse for their injuries, hoping that the next time wouldn’t happen again, an isolated incident or that there would be a lull before the next storm.
Domestic abuse or violence is wrong in every shape or form. Whether it is emotional, economic, physical, psychological actions or behaviours, the perpetrator is weak yet tries to disguise their emotional and physical crimes with the ghosts of their past, often trying to erase their unethical behaviour with alcohol and drugs. Like an actor, they assume a part of a Jekyll and Hyde character who appears perfectly behaved in public situations but is transformed into a bully and tyrant in a private situation or behind the closed door of their home. No one should have to live in fear but this cancer of society continues manifest its ugly head on a regular occurrence.
Stay or Go?
Any victim of domestic abuse or violence becomes a prisoner of their abuser. Fearing for their own life, their children and family members, the victim becomes a prisoner in their own home, vulnerable, controlled and degraded, adopting a emotional feeling of worthless as the innocent party buys into the tale of the twisted mind of the person who inflicts these vile acts against them. These abusers have triggers and when pressed, it’s like setting off a nuclear explosion. The victim tries to remain silent for self-preservation purposes but it is impossible to judge when the violent acts on the mind or body will occur.
The Truth
The statistics of recorded cases of domestic abuse and violence in the UK are staggering. 1 in 5 adults experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, a figure that equates to 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6-7 men. 2.4 million victims were recorded last year ( 1.7 women and 699,000 men ) For every three victims, 2 are female and 1 is male. Every 30 seconds, a domestic abuse or violence case is made to the police. These figures don’t include those victims that actually die as a result of these brutal acts either through suicide or murder. What is alarming is that many of these cases come from parents and family members.
Speak Out
The most important for anyone in these situations is to be brave, talk to someone and seek help. There are many reputable anonymous telephone helplines and charities for victims to reach out to. Here, men, women and children can take the first steps to ending this violent cycle and begin to start the process of healing from their emotional and physical scars. There are also many hostels across the UK where victims can set up temporary home, far away from the grasp of their abuser. No one should have to suffer in silence and these crimes against you are never your fault. You are the innocent party and it doesn’t matter if any of these acts last a split second or a prolonged period, all are fundamentally wrong and cast a lasting stain on the goodness of human nature. There is always a safe space for you out there, take that leap of faith and stop the perpetrator from believing that they own you and control your mind.
